I Am a Mother

Yesterday was my second mother's day with Mari. I got to reflect not only on the wonderful mothers in my life but also how being a mother has changed my life. Nothing can really prepare you to be a mother. When Mari was born, I didn't feel the instant love that some mothers feel, probably because I was too exhausted to feel anything! The night after Mari was born, I had a dream that she wasn't healthy, and the doctors came in to our hospital room and dramatically wheeled her away. I woke up crying, and that's when I felt the overpowering feeling of love that you have for your children. When I was pregnant with her, I wondered how I could give unconditional love to a child I didn't even know. When I come up with the words to describe it, I'll let you know. :)
Being a mother is what I've always wanted to do. I just finished reading I Am a Mother by Jane Clayson Johnson, and I just about cried through the whole book. Sister Johnson quotes Maria Shriver when Maria was on the Oprah Winfrey Show:

"How do we get women to stop saying, 'I'm just a mother.' Or, 'I used to be such and such, but now I'm just a mother'? We need to market motherhood. So I came up with a saying: 'Motherhood: 24/7 on the frontlines of humanity. Are you man enough to try it?"

Oprah Winfrey says in her magazine, "In our society, we give motherhood plenty of lip service. We pat moms on the head, bring them flowers on Mother's Day, and honor them before crowds. But at the end of the day, we don't extend them the same respect we would a professor, a dentist, an accountant, or a judge.

"I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. . . .To play down mothering as small is to crack the very foundation on which greatness stands.

"The world can only value mothering to the extent that women everywhere stand and declare that it must be so. In our hands we hold the power to transform the perception of motherhood. . . .We should no longer allow a mother to be defined as 'just a mom.' It is on her back that the great nations are built."
I am proud to be a mother. "I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenck's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived." While I got really nice gifts and was treated like royalty this Mother's Day, I feel like Mother's Day could be any other day. The people I associate with most understand the important work I do. My wonderful mother has been a perfect example to me about what a mother is, and I can't imagine not having her around to help me become as great of a mother as she is. Hooray for mothers!